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Citizens Advice Bureaux East Midlands
Buxton: 01298 79692
Ashbourne: 01335 346873
Staveley: 01246 473668
Clay Cross: 01246 863550
Chesterfield: 01246 209164
Chesterfield: 01246 860470 Derby: 01332 343120
Glossop: 01457 855869
New Mills: 01663 747026 Ilkeston: 0115 932 0145
Matlock: 01629 583539
Brackley: 01280 704135
Corby: 01536 203552 Daventry: 01327 706464
Daventry: 01327 701693
Kettering: 01536 482321
Northampton: 01604 636000
Rushden: 01933 317311
Thrapston: 01832 734840
Wellingborough: 01933 274343
Boston: 01205
352666
Bourne: 01778 393102
Gainsborough: 01427 612561
Grantham: 01476 567084
Lincoln: 01522 828600
Louth: 01507 609582
Sleaford: 01529 307077
Spalding: 01775 769693 Stamford: 01780 757621
Blaby: 0116
277 9072
Braunstone: 0116 263 1255
Broughton Astley: 01455 282430
Coalville : 01530 835500
Glenfield: 0116 287 1874
Hinckley: 01455 636051
Leicester: 0116 255 4212
Loughborough: 01509 267374
Lutterworth: 01455 557375
Market Harborough: 01858 466850
Melton Mowbray: 01664 565882
Oakham: 01572 723012
Shepshed: 01509 506663
Syston: 08701 264096
Wigston: 0116 288 786
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Arnold: 0115 854 6000
Beeston: 0115 917 5800
Sutton-in-Ashfield: 01623 405300
Worksop: 01909 533533
Mansfield: 01623 433433
Newark: 01636 654654
West Bridgford: 0115 914 1500
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| If you are planning to leave, these are ideas that might help you. They are
suggestions and you do not have to have arranged all these things before you can leave. | |
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Try to find a safe place to go (a friend’s house, family or a refuge) | |
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Arrange a signal with a friend, which may need to be in code, so that you can be
helped to escape | |
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Try to have enough money put away in case you need a taxi, bus or train fare quickly | |
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Gather together documents such as child and other benefit books, passports, birth
certificates, rent books, mortgage details etc. and keep them in a safe place that you can get to easily | |
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Have an extra set of keys cut for your house or anywhere else you may need to access.
Remember to take a set of house keys with you | |
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Keep a list of emergency contacts, e.g. school, GP, support services, in a safe
place | |
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Hide a small bag of essential items in a safe place together with any toiletries,
baby things or personal items that you might need | |
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If you have children, remember to take their favourite toy or comforter | |
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| Making the decision to leave is a big step but one that
people take successfully every day. You are not alone and there is lots of help available to support you. |
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| How you can help someone else |
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| If someone comes to you for help, listen and don’t
try to take control. The following points may help you: |
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Take the person seriously and believe what they say | |
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Be calm and positive | |
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Respect their wishes at all times. Ask what they want | |
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Give them time to discuss feelings and needs at their own pace | |
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Stress that they are not responsible for the abuse and that they are not alone | |
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Find out if they need medical help | |
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Use this website to find an organisation that can help | |
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Do not push them to do anything they are not ready to do. They are probably the best
judge of what
the best way forward is and what action is safe. | |
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Assist them in making contact with agencies who may be able to help, e.g. Police, Next Link, legal
advice | |
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Help them to keep safe by making a safety plan | |
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Assure them of your confidentiality unless there are child protection issues which must be reported.
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Check whether it is safe to contact them and what the safest way is of keeping in touch. | |
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| Some people leave a violent and abusive relationship
after only one incident. Others may take a long time to make this change in their lives. This does not mean that the violence
is less serious. It is important that if someone feels unable to leave, they continue to receive help and support and a sympathetic
response. There are organisations that can help women who are not ready to leave. Click here for organisations in Bristol who provide information and support for people experiencing domestic abuse. | | | |
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- Are you afraid of your partner?
- Do you feel isolated, bullied or belittled?
- Is your partner possessive and controlling?
- Do you feel like you are walking on egg shells?
- Does your partner threaten you or your children?
- Does your partner deny the abuse or blame you?
- Does your partner hit, push or kick you?
More examples of abusive behaviour
- controlling the finances
- hurting you emotionally
- subjecting you to sexual abuse
- hurting you physically
- damaging your possessions
- smashing up the furniture
- threatening to kill the pets
- threatening to kidnap or get custody of the children
- driving fast because he knows it scares you
- locking you out of the house during an argument
- telling you what to wear or how to do your hair.
If you recognise any of the above behaviours then its likely you are a victim of domestic abuse.
You are not alone. It's not your fault. You have the right to feel safe.
Abuse comes in a startling variety of shapes and sizes. Paradoxically, the dark side
of love is widely acknowledged to be a major source of abuse.
“Loving” someone too much can be abusive. This can happen when one
partner (the user/abuser controller) regards the other partner has being his or her own personal property to use (or abuse)
as he, or she, sees fit.
Viewing (and treating) a partner as a personal possession is not healthy. It takes
away our humanity and reduces us into being no more than a chattel. Something to guard jealously as a means of satisfying
personal gratification.
To emotionally imprison in the name of love is clearly abusive.
Emotional imprisonment can lead to other more sinister forms of imprisonment.
Whilst true love is light and liberating. The love of a user/abuser/controller is dark and dangerous.
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