Men can also be victims

Men can be victims too

Without meaning to be controversial: It is a fact that men can also suffer violence in abusive relationships. However, males tend not to report violence suffered at the hands of females for fear of ridicule.

Admittedly, this problem does 'appear' to be much rarer than the abuse of violent men against women. But the fact remains, that men can (and too many do) also suffer terribly at the hands of violent partners.

The fear of ridicule which prevents male victims seeking help is a form of Stigma. As a consequence of this stigma, males are far more likely to contemplate (and commit) suicide than females.

From our very earliest days society and our educational system gives us traditional 'male' and 'female' archetypes and their archetypal "natural" roles. These are our basic role models

These (strong male - weak female) perceptions predispose us to the unquestionable belief that in any male versus female conflict, we naturally identify the male as the perpetrator and women the victims.

Over the ages this unquestionable perception must have led to millions of miscarriages of justice throughout the World. Even today, this most basic of gender assumptions must lead to the man's account of any conflict being automatically doubted and his account dismissed.

Given this situation it is easy to understand why many men who undergo domestic violence simply say nothing.

One important breakthrough in breaking male silence on being the victims of domestic violence is a voluntary group based in the Republic of Ireland called AMEN.

AMEN provides a confidential and anonymous helpline and much needed support and information service for the male victims of domestic abuse/violence.

To date, thousands of men and supportive members of their families have contacted the helpline since it was launched.

AMEN has encountered denial of the existence and the experiences of male victims. Recent research carried out for the Marriage and Relationship Counselling Service (MRCS) found that women are more likely than men to perpetrate domestic violence. This report, based on a survey of 530 clients of MRCS, found that, where domestic violence occurs, mutual violence accounts for 33% of cases, female perpetrated violence accounts for 41% and male perpetrated violence for 26%.

According to AMEN...

MALE VICTIMS –

Come from all walks of life, social backgrounds and cultures.

Male victims are often stressed, become depressed feel suicidal and unable to function in the workplace.

Are disbelieved – often because they are men.

Want help and not further abuse from society and the caring agencies.

Males are removed from or asked to leave their homes – often because it is the easy option.

Males are not treated equitably by the state agencies

One positive aspect is that much of the practical advice and articles on the subject can be read as just as applicable to men as to women - issues like how to stay safe, and the practicalities of leaving a violent situation.

However it does need to be stated that there is far less in the way of helplines, support organisations (even recognition ) etc. available to men in contrast to women

Hope that these websites are of help.

MENS ADVICE LINE: 0808 2000 247 (Free phone) http://www.mensadviceline.org.uk/womens-aid.htm

AMEN is an Eire based site.

Stop Abuse for Everyone (SAFE) is a site with US based resources and information on combating domestic violence, which recognises the needs of male victims.

Survivors UK might also be able to help where sexual abuse is concerned. Their web site is http://www.survivorsuk.org

MenWeb is an American site with helpful articles and advice.

There are a great many reasons why there isn't more information about domestic abuse and violence against men than is available about domestic abuse and violence against women. Money being high on that list.

Violence against men

Given embarrassment and the fear of stigma, very little is known about the actual number of men who are in an abusive domestic relationship in which they are being abused and or treated violently by women.

In large part this is due to the fact that far fewer instances of abuse committed against men are reported than those against women, and that the problem of abuse against men is far larger than the available data would seem to indicate.

However, the available data indicates that:

(Note that these statistics are not a true indicator of domestic violence committed by women against males. These statistics are only indicative of reported domestic violence where the male was a victim. They do not indicate whether the aggressor was male or female.)

3.2 million men experience "minor" abuse (such as "pushing, grabbing, shoving, slapping, and hitting") per year.

In the United States, approximately 800,000 men per year (3.2%) are raped or physically assaulted by their partner.

At least 371,000 men are stalked by their partner.

3% of non-fatal violence against men stems from domestic violence.

In 2002, men comprised 24% of domestic violence homicide victims.

Over 20 years, the instances of homicide from domestic violence against men decreased by approximately 67%.

Approximately 22% of men have experienced physical, sexual, or psychological intimate partner violence during their life.

I am assured that there are many reasons why there isn't more information about domestic abuse and violence against men. Amongst these “reasons” are...

First of all, the reported incidence of domestic violence against men appears to be so low that it is hard to get reliable estimates.

In addition, it has taken years of advocacy and support to encourage women to report domestic violence.

Virtually nothing has been done to encourage men to report abuse.

The idea that men could be victims of domestic abuse and violence is so unthinkable that many men will not even attempt to report the situation.

Without meaning to be controversial - it is a fact that men also suffer violence in abusive relationships. However, males tend not to report violence suffered at the hands of females for fear of ridicule.

Admittedly, this does 'appear' to be much rarer than the violence of men against women, but the fact remains that men also suffer terribly at the hands of violent partners

The fear of ridicule which prevents male victims seeking help is a form of Stigma.

From our very earliest days society and our educational system gives us traditional 'male' and 'female' archetypes and their archetypal "natural" roles. These are our basic role models

These (strong male - weak female) perceptions predispose us to the unquestionable belief that in any male versus female conflict, we naturally identify the male as the perpetrator and women the victims.

Over the ages this unquestionable perception must have led to millions of miscarriages of justice throughout the World. Even today, this most basic of gender assumptions must lead to the man's account of any conflict being automatically doubted and his account dismissed.

Given this situation it is easy to understand why many men who undergo domestic violence simply say nothing.

One important breakthrough in breaking male silence on being the victims of domestic violence is a voluntary group based in the Republic of Ireland called AMEN.

AMEN provides a confidential and anonymous helpline and much needed support and information service for the male victims of domestic abuse/violence.

To date, thousands of men and supportive members of their families have contacted the helpline since it was launched.

AMEN has encountered denial of the existence and the experiences of male victims. Recent research carried out for the Marriage and Relationship Counselling Service (MRCS) found that women are more likely than men to perpetrate domestic violence. This report, based on a survey of 530 clients of MRCS, found that, where domestic violence occurs, mutual violence accounts for 33% of cases, female perpetrated violence accounts for 41% and male perpetrated violence for 26%.

According to AMEN...

MALE VICTIMS –

Come from all walks of life, social backgrounds and cultures.
Male victims are often stressed, become depressed feel suicidal and unable to function in the workplace.
Are disbelieved – often because they are men.
Want help and not further abuse from society and the caring agencies.
Males are removed from or asked to leave their homes – often because it is the easy option.
Males are not treated equitably by the state agencies

One positive aspect is that much of the practical advice and articles on the subject can be read as just as applicable to men as to women - issues like how to stay safe, and the practicalities of leaving a violent situation.

However it does need to be stated that there is far less in the way of helplines, support organisations (even recognition ) etc available to men in contrast to women
Hope that these websites are of help.
MENS ADVICE LINE: 0808 2000 247 (Free phone)http://www.mensadviceline.org.uk/womens-aid.htm

AMEN is an Eire based site.

Stop Abuse for Everyone (SAFE) is a site with US based resources and information on combatting domestic violence, which recognises the needs of male victims.
Survivors UK might also be able to help where sexual abuse is concerned. Their web site is http://www.survivorsuk.org

MenWeb is an American site with helpful articles and advice.

There are a great many reasons why there isn't more information about domestic abuse and violence against men than is available about domestic abuse and violence against women. Money being high on that list.

Violence against men

Given embarrassment and the fear of stigma, very little is known about the actual number of men who are in an abusive domestic relationship in which they are being abused and or treated violently by women.

In large part this is due to the fact that far fewer instances of abuse committed against men are reported than those against women, and that the problem of abuse against men is far larger than the available data would seem to indicate.

However, the available data indicates that:

(Note that these statistics are not a true indicator of domestic violence committed by women against males. These statistics are only indicative of reported domestic violence where the male was a victim. They do not indicate whether the aggressor was male or female.)

3.2 million men experience "minor" abuse (such as "pushing, grabbing, shoving, slapping, and hitting") per year.
In the United States, approximately 800,000 men per year (3.2%) are raped or physically assaulted by their partner.
At least 371,000 men are stalked by their partner.
3% of nonfatal violence against men stems from domestic violence.
In 2002, men comprised 24% of domestic violence homicide victims.
Over 20 years, the instances of homicide from domestic violence against men decreased by approximately 67%.
Approximately 22% of men have experienced physical, sexual, or psychological intimate partner violence during their life.

There are many reasons why there isn't more information about domestic abuse and violence against men.

First of all, the reported incidence of domestic violence against men appears to be so low that it is hard to get reliable estimates.
In addition, it has taken years of advocacy and support to encourage women to report domestic violence.
Virtually nothing has been done to encourage men to report abuse.
The idea that men could be victims of domestic abuse and violence is so unthinkable that many men will not even attempt to report the situation.