Types of abuse

There are far too many different types of abuse in the world today. Domestic Abuse and Child Abuse are the two most widely publicised of the headline grabbers.

I have been assured that there are said to be SEVEN 'types' of abuse.

These are listed below.

Physical Abuse

Without doubt the most common and obvious form of abuse for us to have to live with is physical assault. Slaps, punches, kicks, bites, pinches, whipping, hair pulling (etc.) and any other intentional act intended to cause us pain, misery and physical damage.

To be on the receiving end of such mean, spiteful and malicious brutality is one of the ways we are robbed of our identity, our feelings. our self-value or will of our own.

Physical abuse robs us of our humanity. It is the way that the slave owner beats his or her slave into silent submission. It is to be treated as far less than a human being should be treated. No longer human beings with our own rights. Dis-empowered. No longer able to think or act for ourselves we become true "objects" and regarded as such.

When we are 'owned' in this way: The violence we experience is to 'remind' us that we are the physical property of our owner and that our lives are now in his or her hands.

Sexual Abuse

Clearly it is impossible for us to know how many millions of us worldwide are actually trapped in sexually abusive relationships.

In many ways sexual abuse appears to be an extension of physical abuse. Unlike 'normal' lovemaking activities, sexual abuse can involve any or all possible forms of 'deviant' assault, incest, rape, buggery and even paedophile activity is not uncommon. All to satisfy the momentary gratification of the abuser owner's power lust to dominate and belittle us. Our humiliation empowers our abusers

In this type of ownership/relationship the one being used appears to have no more importance to the abuser than any other type of sex aid or toy.

Tactile Abuse

In contrast to physical or sexual abuse:'Tactile Abuse' is reported to involve extremely little (or even no) actual physical contact between abuser and abused. However, what little contact there is usually unusually harsh, violent, punitive, unjust, unfair and simply not appropriate or acceptable.

It almost appears that the only 'use' the abuser has for the abused is to punish him or her. Thereby satisfying his or her need to make us suffer.

Existence (or Existential) Abuse

This is the name given to that category of abuse in which our very existence, our identity, our feelings, and our rights are ALL crushed, rejected, trampled and ignored. HENCE THE NAME "EXISTENCE ABUSE"

Existence abuse is where those of us who find ourselves trapped in abusive relationships constantly and continuously find our needs, wishes, wants, thoughts, ideas and suggestions simply dismissed out of hand. No matter how good, or ingenious they may be - they are ignored or dismissed as rubbish. As we are ignored or dismissed as rubbish.

Existence abuse is the way by which an abuser feels that he or she needs to 'educate' us that we are nothing and everything we do or say is also nothing. This psychologically enslaves us by making us come to terms with the fact that our existence (without our owner) is meaningless. We have no value, we have no needs, all we have is a 'protector (guard) who will do everything (including thinking) for us.

How lucky we are.

Spiritual or Cult Abuse

This refers to the time when we might be forced to accept the bigoted, narrow, prejudiced, blinkered, spiritual, racial, religious, philosophical, political, historical, UNQUESTIONABLE cult-like views of the abuser to the exclusion of any other way of thinking, believing, acting or being.

These views must not be questioned just accepted as absolute truth. Failure to accept the controller's beliefs may result in us facing painful punishment for some imagined form of blasphemy, or worse, heresy.

Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse is the name given to the situation in which one of us uses his or her power to gain a controlling affect on the emotional well being of another. Emotional abuse comes in a wide variety of forms, including cold shoulder rejection, degradation, isolation, corruption, exploitation, and even terror.

When we are subjected to emotional abuse we frequently respond by becoming withdrawn. We often experience feelings of emotional instability; depression, low self-esteem, severe anxiety, fearfulness, feelings of shame and guilt, self blame and self-depreciation, sleep disturbances, frequent crying, inappropriate behaviour, underachievement etc.

We also tend to avoid eye contact, become overly compliant but feel unable to trust or feel uncomfortable in the presence of others. We can experience a number of physical complaints that have no medical basis. We become prone to suicidal thoughts and self harming activities

We may be being emotionally abused….

When we understand the feelings of others, but he or she never attempts to understand ours.

When he or she dismisses our difficulties or our issues as unimportant or an overreaction.

When he or she consistently invalidates our feelings.

When he or she does not listen to a word we say

When his or her needs come first and ours don’t count.

When we are expected to do things we find unpleasant, humiliating or unacceptable.

When we find ourselves walking on eggshells so as not to upset him or her.

When he or she ignores fact and logic and ‘reacts’ to remain the centre of attention

When he or she manipulates us into feeling guilty for things that have nothing to do with us.

When he or she attempts to destroy our ‘outside’ support by belittling that support. This he or she does in an effort to retain exclusive control over our emotions and our lives.

When he or she never takes responsibility for hurting us or others

When he or she blames everyone / everything else for any misfortune in his or her life

When he or she sees himself / herself as being victims or being hard done to.

When he or she constantly expects preferential treatment in every situation.

When we are always compared negatively to everyone else.

Typically

Our abuser can seem like Jeckyll and Hyde: He or she “loves” us when our behaviour is acceptable to him or her. But he or she will cruelly abuse us when he or she is not happy with our behaviour. Typically, he or she isn’t usually happy with our behaviour. He or she treats everyone else kindly, and never emotionally abuses anyone else - only us.

Abusers frequently withhold their love from those of us who need that love. By so doing, he or she demonstrates his or her control over us by depriving us of the love we need.

Abusers tend to put unreasonable conditions upon their 'love' and frequently use the threat of withdrawing it as just another means to control our actions and our lives.

However, the abuser's threat of withdrawing his or her love is often accompanied by a much darker, more menacing threat to his or her possession. Such as: “If I can't have you, nobody can”.

Psychological Abuse

It is said that: “Psychological abuse often takes the form of physical intimidation, controlling a person life and activities through menace, terror and oppression.”

Put another way the intention of psychological abuse is mind control. The logic being, once you control the person's mind – you control the person. Enslave the mind - enslave the person.

Like all other forms of abuse, psychological abuse is bullying. Bullying is used to control the lives and actions of the abused by violence, the threat of violence, cruelty etc.

Like all other forms of abuse, psychological abuse serves to deny us of our individuality, identity and our value as individuals. Once these are denied to us we become the “property” of the abuser.

Psychological weapons used often include sarcasm and an ongoing relentless bullying by constant criticism of a trivial and unjustified nature.

Couple this incessant assault with a “brick-wall” refusal to acknowledge any positive qualities on the part of the one being abused, and the consequence has been known to lead us to suicide.

What about Love?

Love is possibly the most common smoke screen used by abusers to disguise their true intentions towards his or her intended victim. This 'dark side' of love is widely acknowledged to be a major source of abuse.

Abusers excuse many of their excesses by claiming that they are done in the name of love. That things 'happened' because he or she loves us too much. In a sense even this will become our fault.

The claim that their abusive, controlling, menacing, manipulating, cruel, spiteful and selfish activities are undertaken in the name of love is a typical deception.

The idea that an abuser loves his or her abused is both wrong and another deception. Abusers often regard their consort/servant as being their personal property to use (or abuse) as he, or she, sees fit.

Viewing and treating a 'partner' (an equal) as a personal possession is sinister, and reduces that 'partner' to being no more than a chattel, possession or object. Once again we can see the slave OWNED by the slave-owner.

Given the capitalistic material nature of the society in which we live, all property owners need to protect their property from theft. Similarly, the abuser needs to guard his or her property jealously in case 'his or her possession' is stolen - or 'his or her possession' manages to escape.

In this situation his or her possession's only value is the pleasure that he or she provides the abuser.

The love of the abuser is the love of the satisfying personal gratification that he or she experiences through enslaving another.

The love of an abuser is an emotional (and sometimes physical) gaol. In which the abused person is a prisoner. To emotionally imprison another in the name of love is nothing short of enslavement.

Whilst true love is light and liberating. The love of an abuser who only seeks to own us is dark, menacing and potentially very dangerous.

Summary

All types of abusive relationship involving the control, abuse and ownership of one of us by another whose intention is to own, control and punish us, are akin to slavery.

To maintain his or her control over us, too many abusers will inflict pain, suffering and physical and emotional damage upon us. In extreme cases they will kill us rather than let us go.

Ownership has nothing to do with love, only love of self. True love is not indulging oneself at the expense of one's partner.

There are far too many different types of abuse in the world today. Domestic Abuse and Child Abuse are the two most widely publicised of the headline grabbers.

Apparently there are said to be SEVEN 'types' of abuse. These are listed below.

Physical Abuse

Without doubt the most common and obvious form of abuse for us to have to live with is physical assault. Slaps, punches, kicks, bites, pinches, whipping, hair pulling (etc) and any other intentional act intended to cause us pain, misery and physical damage.

To be on the receiving end of such mean, spiteful and malicious brutality is one of the ways we are robbed of our identity, our feelings. our self-value or will of our own.

Physical abuse robs us of our humanity. It is the way that the slave owner beats his or her slave into silent submission. It is to be treated as far less than a human being should be treated. No longer human beings with our own rights. Disempowered. No longer able to think or act for ourselves we become true "objects" and regarded as such.

When we are 'owned' in this way: The violence we experience is to 'remind' us that we are the physical property of our owner and that our lives are now in his or her hands.

Sexual Abuse

Clearly it is impossible for us to know how many millions of us worldwide are actually trapped in sexually abusive relationships.

In many ways sexual abuse appears to be an extension of physical abuse. Unlike 'normal' lovemaking activities, sexual abuse can involve any or all possible forms of 'deviant' assault, incest, rape, buggery and even paedophile activity is common. All to satisfy the momentary gratification of the abuser owner's power lust to dominate and belittle us.

In this type of ownership/relationship the one being used appears to have no more importance to the abuser than any other type of sexual aid or toy.

Tactile Abuse

In contrast to physical or sexual abuse:'Tactile Abuse' is reported to involve extremely little (or even no) actual physical contact between abuser and abused. However, what little contact there is usually unusually harsh, violent, punitive, unjust, unfair and simply not appropriate.

In a sense, it appears that the only 'use' the abuser has for the abused is to punish him or her.

Existence Abuse

This is the name given to that category of abuse in which our very existence, our identity, our feelings, and our rights are crushed, rejected, trampled and ignored. HENCE THE NAME "EXISTENCE ABUSE"

Existence abuse is where those of us who find ourselves trapped in abusive relationships constantly and continuously find our needs, wishes, wants, thoughts, ideas and suggestions simply dismissed out of hand. No matter how good, or ingenious they may be - they are ignored or dismissed as rubbish.

Existence abuse is the way by which an abuser feels that he or she needs to 'educate' us that we are nothing and everything we do or say is also nothing. This psychologically enslaves us by making us come to terms with the fact that our existence (without our owner) is meaningless. We have no value, we have no need, all we have is a 'protector (guard) who will do everything (including thinking) for us.

How lucky we are.

Spiritual or Cult Abuse

This refers to the time when we might be forced to accept the bigoted, narrow, prejudiced, blinkered, spiritual, racial, religious, philosophical, political, historical, UNQUESTIONABLE cult-like views of the abuser to the exclusion of any other way of thinking, believing, acting or being.

These views must not be questioned just accepted as absolute truth. Failure to accept the controller's beliefs may result in us facing painful punishment for some imagined form of blasphemy, or worse, heresy.

Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse is the name given to the situation in which one of us uses his or her power to gain a controlling affect on the emotional well being of another. Emotional abuse comes in a wide variety of forms, including cold shoulder rejection, degradation, isolation, corruption, exploitation, and even terror.

When we are subjected to emotional abuse we frequently respond by becoming withdrawn. We often experience feelings of emotional instability; depression, low self-esteem, severe anxiety, fearfulness, feelings of shame and guilt, self blame and self-depreciation, sleep disturbances, frequent crying, inappropriate behaviour, underachievement etc.

We also tend to avoid eye contact, become overly compliant but feel unable to trust or feel uncomfortable in the presence of others. We can experience a number of physical complaints that have no medical basis. We become prone to suicidal thoughts and self harming activities

We may be being emotionally abused….

When we understand the feelings of others, but he or she never attempts to understand ours When he or she dismisses our difficulties or our issues as unimportant or an overreaction. When he or she consistently invalidates our feelings.

When he or she does not listen to a word we say

When his or her needs come first and ours don’t count.

When we are expected to do things we find unpleasant, humiliating or unacceptable.

When we find ourselves walking on eggshells so as not to upset him or her.

When he or she ignores fact and logic and ‘reacts’ to remain the centre of attention

When he or she manipulate us into feeling guilty for things that have nothing to do with us When he or she attempts to destroy our ‘outside’ support by belittling that support. This he or she does in an effort to retain exclusive control over our emotions and our lives.

When he or she never takes responsibility for hurting us or others

When he or she blames everyone / everything else for any misfortune in his or her life

When he or she sees himself / herself as being victims or hard done to,

When he or she constantly expects preferential treatment in every situation.

When we are always compared negatively to everyone else.

Typically

Rather like Jeckyll and Hyde: He or she ‘loves’ us when our behaviour is acceptable to him or her, but will cruelly abuse us when he or she is not happy with our behaviour. Typically, he or she isn’t usually happy with our behaviour. He or she treats everyone else kindly, and never emotionally abuses anyone else but us,

Abusers frequently withhold their love from those of us who need that love. By so doing he or she demonstrates control over us by depriving us of love.

Abusers tend to put unreasonable conditions upon their 'love' and frequently use the threat of withdrawing it as just another means to control our actions and our lives.

However, the abuser's threat of withdrawing his or her love is often accompanied by a much darker. more menacing threat to his or her possession.

Psychological Abuse

Psychological abuse often takes the form of physical intimidation, controlling a person life and activities through menace, terror and oppression.

The intention of psychological abuse is mind control. Control the mind - control the person. Enslave the mind - enslave the person.

Like all other forms of abuse, psychological abuse is bullying. Bullying is used to control the lives and actions of the abused by violence, the threat of violence, cruelty etc. Like all other forms of abuse, psychological abuse serves to deny us of our individuality, identity and our value as individuals. Once these are denied to us we become the property of the abuser.

Psychological weapons used often include sarcasm and an ongoing relentless bullying by constant criticism of a trivial and unjustified nature.

Couple this incessant assault with a 'brickwall' refusal to acknowledge any positive qualities on the part of the one being abused, and the consequence has been known to lead us to suicide.

What about Love?

Love is possibly the most common smoke screen used by abusers to disguise their true intentions towards his or her intended victim. This 'dark side' of love is widely acknowledged to be a major source of abuse.

Abusers excuse many of their excesses by claiming that they are done in the name of love. That things 'happened' because he or she loves us too much. In a sense even this will become our fault.

The claim that their abusive, controlling, menacing, manipulating, cruel, spiteful and selfish activities are undertaken in the name of love is a typical deception.

The idea that an abuser loves his or her abused is both wrong and another deception. Abusers often regard their consort/servant as being their personal property to use (or abuse) as he, or she, sees fit.

Viewing and treating a 'partner' (an equal) as a personal possession is sinister, and reduces that 'partner' to being no more than a chattel, possession or object.

Given the material nature of the society in which we live, all property owners need to protect their property from theft.

Similarly, the abuser needs to guard his or her property jealously in case 'his or her possession' is stolen - or 'his or her possession' manages to escape.

In this situation 'his or her possession's' only value is the pleasure that he or she provides the abuser.

The love of the abuser is the love of the satisfying personal gratification that he or she experiences through enslaving another.

The love of an abuser is an emotional (and sometimes physical) prison. To emotionally imprison another in the name of love is enslavement.

Whilst true love is light and liberating. The love of a user/abuser/controller is dark, menacing and dangerous

Summary

All types of abusive relationship involving the control, abuse and ownership of one of us by another whose intention is to own, control and punish us are similar to slavery.

To maintain this control over us, too many abusers will inflict pain, suffering and physical and emotional damage upon us.

This has nothing to do with love, only love of self and indulging oneself