Abuse doesn't have to be Violent

When love becomes abuse

As previously mentioned ABUSE comes in a variety of shapes and sizes. What is surprising is that the "dark side" of love is widely acknowledged to be a major source of abuse.

It appears that “loving” someone too much can be abusive. This can happen when one partner (the user / abuser /controller) regards the other partner has being his or her own personal property to use (or abuse) as he, or she, sees fit.

Regarding (and treating) a partner as a personal possession is not healthy. It takes away our humanity and reduces us into being no more than a chattel. Something to guard jealously for the sole purpose of satisfying a need for personal gratification.

To emotionally enslave someone in the name of love is clearly abusive.

Emotional enslavement can lead to other more sinister forms of abuse.

Whilst true love is liberating. The love of a user/abuser/controller is dark, full of menace and potentially very dangerous.

Unlike the tell tale cuts and bruises which attest to physical abuse; emotional abuse is far more difficult to identify. Simply because we cannot see the damage caused.

Emotional scars being invisible to the naked eye, abuse can go on for years without being recognised by anyone.

Emotional abuse is non-physical cruelty. It covers a wide area but is basically verbal bullying and menace. Emotional abuse is said to include all forms of constantly being "picked on". Constantly being on the receiving end of incessant non-physical attack: Shouting, nagging, screaming, threats, degrading insults, humiliation, manipulation, neglect, harassment, sarcasm, domination or control, withdrawal of love and (assuming that there is any) affection. Being treated as less than a human being should be treated, the abused are often given the cold shoulder and ignored for lengthy periods of time.

To fully control the abused, the abuser will often isolate his or her victim from others (especially) their family / loved ones.

Emotional abuse can (and does) seriously effect and damage the development of any human being. This is particularly true when the abuse occurs during childhood.

There are said to be some common give away signs that are listed below. However, (like all forms of abuse) unless the abused person seeks help and confides in someone about what they are going through, the abuse is likely to go unnoticed and unchecked.

Apparently the signs we need to look for include: Sudden noticeable changes in an individuals behaviour. Depression or Anxiety. Changes in appetite. Loss of interest in activities and social gatherings. Appearing scared, jumpy or agitated. Sleep deprivation or insomnia. Lower self-esteem and confidence. Nervous in the company of a particular individual.

With regard to the causes of emotional abuse: It seems that there isn't one recognised reason as to what actually causes some of us to mentally abuse others.

However a number of common factors that are thought to influence its development among certain individuals have been identified. Shockingly, the most common denominator appears to be that the abuser has himself or herself been abused. Has himself or herself suffered from some form of abuse themselves, usually this appears to have happened during his or her own childhood.

It is widely believed that abusers (themselves victims of abuse) are re-enacting what they themselves may have had to endure in childhood. It has been further suggested that abusers repeat their actions totally unaware that his or her behaviour is not appropriate.

Another common denominator identifies that those of us who become abusers find it very difficult to handle their anger and insecurities. As a consequence of this, abusers blame their problems on others (especially the abused) instead of dealing with their problems themselves.

It goes without saying that the effects of emotional abuse can severely damage a person's confidence and self-esteem even to the state that the abused feels worthless finding it hard to generate relationships. Many contemplate suicide. Sadly some commit suicide.

The invisible cuts and bruises of emotional abuse can take the form of: Anxiety or Depression. Eating disorders. Isolation and withdrawal from others. Low self-esteem and confidence. Children may run away from home. Aggressive behaviour. Drug or alcohol abuse and addiction. Insomnia. Even self-harming to the point of self-mutilation.

Despite not leaving visible physical cuts and bruises, emotional abuse can paradoxically be the severest form of abuse.

This is said to be because the trauma can go on for years and years. Possibly even decades.

Having endured such abuse for any length of time, the victims of emotional abuse will probably need help and TLC to recover.

The obvious recovery option would be for him or her to see a counsellor or therapist in order to rebuild themselves. Counselling would certainly help to regain his or her confidence and self-esteem.

There are also a variety of help sources available for sufferers of emotional abuse, however the individual must take the first step by being willing to discuss what he or she is going through.

Click Here for Counsellors and Counselling Organisations

ABUSE comes in a variety of shapes and sizes. What is surprising is that the "dark side" of love is widely acknowledged to be a major source of abuse.

It appears that “Loving” someone too much can be abusive. This can happen when one partner (the user / abuser /controller) regards the other partner has being his or her own personal property to use (or abuse) as he, or she, sees fit.

Viewing (and treating) a partner as a personal possession is not healthy. It takes away our humanity and reduces us into being no more than a chattel. Something to guard jealously as a means of satisfying personal gratification.

To emotionally imprison in the name of love is clearly abusive.

Emotional imprisonment can lead to other more sinister forms of imprisonment.

Whilst true love is light and liberating. The love of a user/abuser/controller is dark and dangerous

Unlike the tell tale cuts and bruises which attest to physical abuse; emotional abuse is far more difficult to identify. Simply because we cannot see the damage caused. Emotional scars being invisible to the naked eye, abuse can go on for years without being recognised by anyone.

Emotional abuse is non-physical cruelty. It covers a wide area but is basically verbal bullying and menace. Emotional abuse is said to include all forms of constantly being "picked on". Constantly being on the receiving end of incessant non-physical attack: Shouting, nagging, screaming, threats, degrading insults, humiliation, manipulation, neglect, harassment, sarcasm, domination or control, withdrawal of love and (assuming that there is any) affection. Being treated as less than a human being should be treated, the abused are often given the cold shoulder and ignored for lengthy periods of time.

To fully control the abused, the abuser will often isolate his or her victim from others (especially) their loved ones.

Emotional abuse can (and does) seriously effect and damage the development of any human being. This is particularly true when the abuse occurs during childhood.

There are said to be some common give away signs that are listed below. However, (like all forms of abuse) unless the abused person seeks help and confides in someone about what they are going through, the abuse is likely to go unnoticed and unchecked.

Apparently the signs we need to look for include: Sudden noticeable changes in an individuals behaviour. Depression or Anxiety. Changes in appetite. Loss of interest in activities and social gatherings. Appearing scared, jumpy or agitated. Sleep deprivation or insomnia. Lower self-esteem and confidence. Nervous in the company of a particular individual.

With regard to the causes of emotional abuse: It seems that there isn't one recognised reason as to what actually causes some of us to mentally abuse others.

However a number of common factors that are thought to influence its development among certain individuals have been identified. Shockingly, the most common denominator appears to be that the abuser has himself or herself been abused. Has himself or herself suffered from some form of abuse themselves, usually this appears to have happened during their own childhood.

It is widely believed that abusers (themselves victims of abuse) are re-enacting what they themselves may have had to endure in childhood. It has been further suggested that abusers repeat their actions totally unaware that his or her behaviour is not appropriate.

Another common denominator identifies that those of us who become abusers find it very difficult to handle their anger and insecurities. As a consequence of this, abusers blame their problems on others (especially the abused) instead of dealing with their problems themselves.

It goes without saying that the effects of emotional abuse can severely damage a person's confidence and self-esteem even to the state that the abused feels worthless finding it hard to generate relationships. Many contemplate suicide. Sadly some commit suicide.

The invisible cuts and bruises of emotional abuse can take the form of: Anxiety or Depression. Eating disorders. Isolation and withdrawal from others. Low self-esteem and confidence. Children may run away from home. Aggressive behaviour. Drug or alcohol abuse and addiction. Insomnia. Even self-harming to the point of self-mutilation.

Despite not leaving visible physical cuts and bruises, emotional abuse can paradoxically be the severest form of abuse.

This is said to be because the trauma can go on for years and years. Possibly even decades.

Having endured such abuse for any length of time, the victims of emotional abuse will probably need help and TLC to recover.

The obvious recovery option would be for him or her to see a counsellor or therapist in order to rebuild themselves. Counselling would certainly help to regain his or her confidence and self-esteem.

There are also a variety of help sources available for sufferers of emotional abuse, however the individual must take the first step by being willing to discuss what he or she is going through.

Click Here for Counsellors and Counselling Organisations