When love becomes abuse
mentioned ABUSE comes in a variety of shapes and sizes. What is surprising is that the "dark side" of love is widely acknowledged
to be a major source of abuse.
It appears that
“loving” someone too much can be abusive. This can happen when one partner (the user / abuser /controller) regards
the other partner has being his or her own personal property to use (or abuse) as he, or she, sees fit.
treating) a partner as a personal possession is not healthy. It takes away our humanity and reduces us into being no more
than a chattel. Something to guard jealously for the sole purpose of satisfying a need for personal gratification.
enslave someone in the name of love is clearly abusive.
can lead to other more sinister forms of abuse.
Whilst true love
is liberating. The love of a user/abuser/controller is dark, full of menace and potentially very dangerous.
Unlike the tell
tale cuts and bruises which attest to physical abuse; emotional abuse is far more difficult to identify. Simply because we
cannot see the damage caused.
being invisible to the naked eye, abuse can go on for years without being recognised by anyone.
is non-physical cruelty. It covers a wide area but is basically verbal bullying and menace. Emotional abuse is said to include
all forms of constantly being "picked on". Constantly being on the receiving end of incessant non-physical attack: Shouting,
nagging, screaming, threats, degrading insults, humiliation, manipulation, neglect, harassment, sarcasm, domination or control,
withdrawal of love and (assuming that there is any) affection. Being treated as less than a human being should be treated,
the abused are often given the cold shoulder and ignored for lengthy periods of time.
To fully control
the abused, the abuser will often isolate his or her victim from others (especially) their family / loved ones.
can (and does) seriously effect and damage the development of any human being. This is particularly true when the abuse occurs
There are said
to be some common give away signs that are listed below. However, (like all forms of abuse) unless the abused person seeks
help and confides in someone about what they are going through, the abuse is likely to go unnoticed and unchecked.
Apparently the signs we need to look
for include: Sudden noticeable changes in an individuals behaviour. Depression or Anxiety. Changes in appetite. Loss of interest
in activities and social gatherings. Appearing scared, jumpy or agitated. Sleep deprivation or insomnia. Lower self-esteem
and confidence. Nervous in the company of a particular individual.
to the causes of emotional abuse: It seems that there isn't one recognised reason as to what actually causes some of us to
mentally abuse others.
However a number of common factors
that are thought to influence its development among certain individuals have been identified. Shockingly, the most common
denominator appears to be that the abuser has himself or herself been abused. Has himself or herself suffered from some form
of abuse themselves, usually this appears to have happened during his or her own childhood.
is widely believed that abusers (themselves victims of abuse) are re-enacting what they themselves may have had to endure
in childhood. It has been further suggested that abusers repeat their actions totally unaware that his or her behaviour is
common denominator identifies that those of us who become abusers find it very difficult to handle their anger and insecurities.
As a consequence of this, abusers blame their problems on others (especially the abused) instead of dealing with their problems
It goes without saying that the effects of emotional abuse can severely damage
a person's confidence and self-esteem even to the state that the abused feels worthless finding it hard to generate relationships.
Many contemplate suicide. Sadly some commit suicide.
The invisible cuts and bruises of
emotional abuse can take the form of: Anxiety or Depression. Eating disorders. Isolation and withdrawal from others. Low self-esteem
and confidence. Children may run away from home. Aggressive behaviour. Drug or alcohol abuse and addiction. Insomnia. Even self-harming to the point of self-mutilation.
Despite not leaving visible physical cuts and bruises, emotional
abuse can paradoxically be the severest form of abuse.
is said to be because the trauma can go on for years and years. Possibly even decades.
endured such abuse for any length of time, the victims of emotional abuse will probably need help and TLC to recover.
obvious recovery option would be for him or her to see a counsellor or therapist in order to rebuild themselves. Counselling
would certainly help to regain his or her confidence and self-esteem.
are also a variety of help sources available for sufferers of emotional abuse, however the individual must take the first
step by being willing to discuss what he or she is going through.
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