It would be foolish to pretend that the road to recovery will be short and filled with happiness. It is more likely to be long and filled with sorrow and disappointment. It will take our best efforts and our perseverance. I'm sure that we'll all falter and stumble, but that's only to be expected - we're only human after all.   Whilst everyone's journey will be unique - they must surely share the same common characteristics.   The experts are uniform in their insistence that the first major obstacle we are required to acknowledge is our pain - and also acknowledge what caused it. We also need to accept that whatever caused our pain also hurt our bodies, minds and emotions To accomplish what we need to accomplish we need the support of human beings who empathetically understand our pain, and will be able to share coping strategies and mutual support with us. Support groups are ideal to meet this need.   At some point, we may well consider reaching out for professional help. A therapist or counsellor who we feel comfortable and at ease with.   One thing that appears to be universally agreed is the need for each of us to share our feelings with someone - family and friends if possible. Having taken the bold decision to communicate with someone and lay bare the hurt within you; the next step is to find someone to confide in.   At this point psychiatrists, priests and doctors are 'customarily' recommended as a first contact.  In truth, I personally have a problem with approaching these people as the first step to recovery.   First contact is all-important.   Some psychiatrists will be listening from the viewpoint of defining us as a mental health disorder/illness: Considering whether or not to place us in a secure environment and what dosage of medication  to prescribe.   Many priests believe that suicide is an unpardonable sin.  Whilst doctors (who have the highest suicide rate of any profession) will be inclined to prescribe medication and refer you to a psychiatrist who will also be inclined to prescribe medication.   Having said that, it could very well be that the overwhelming majority of priests, doctors and psychiatrists would be the perfect point of first contact.   If, initially, you are reluctant to speak with a person face-to-face you could also consider telephone help-lines. These are ideally suited to provide the help, support and humanity required. If you'd rather not talk with anyone there are now more and more email and text messaging options available. This is of course your choice - please make it wisely.   The important question now is deciding who you can communicate with as a first contact. Generally, a loved one or a close friend is the obvious choice, but possibly, not always the easiest choice.   The problem here is that we don't want to trouble or worry those close to us. We don't want to become a burden on them, nor let them down. We are anxious about what they will think of us, and we are worried about being rejected by them.   These feelings are natural and commendable but (in the situation you are in) must be overcome. IT IS YOUR LIFE AT STAKE. You cannot afford the luxury of such thoughts.   Given that it is your life at stake, ask yourself which is worse - risking worrying friends and loved ones with your feelings - or shattering their lives with your death. .  I know it's a risk. But if they love you they will try to offer what support they can. Grasp that support without shame or guilt. They won't want you to kill yourself and they will probably never forgive you or themselves if you did.   Whosoever you choose it is important that you be as honest as you can with them. Do not 'sugar-coat' what you are going through - you can't afford to. Take as much time as you need. Once communication has been established move at your own pace. But be as honest as you possibly can. It is in your own best interest   PLEASE REMEMBER Once the immediate danger has passed, it makes sense to put some preventative measures in place to prevent it happening again.   We need to reach out from the place where we are. Isolation is a very real danger to us all. It feels 'right' to hide within ourselves, but we cannot afford to isolate ourselves forever. It really is too dangerous.   We must try not to leave it too long before we reach out for help. It really will not get any easier with the passing of time.   We must not be afraid to reach out for assistance.   We are not begging for charity. Instead we are reaching out for help (which we feel able to accept) from the individuals we feel able to accept it from.  A family member, partner, friend or colleague. Doctor, nurse, health service practioner, priest etc. Anyone you feel to be trustworthy.   If you are unable to do this, why not use a telephone help-line. Organisations such as The SAMARITANS are here to talk (and much more importantly = to listen) 24/7.   If you recognise that your crisis is out of control and your coping strategies are breaking down - go to your nearest hospital emergency admissions department, and let them know of your situation.   IT IS NOT ALWAYS POSSIBLE TO RE-ESTABLISH OLD FRIENDSHIPS, WHICH COULD NOW BE SERIOUSLY DAMAGED. INSTEAD, TRY TO ESTABLISH CONTACT WITH NEW PEOPLE. SUPPORT GROUPS ARE VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. REMIND YOURSELF THAT YOU WANTED TO END YOUR SUFFERING - YOU DIDN'T WANT TO DIE If possible (whilst in the crisis phase) we should get rid of everything that we could use to kill ourselves. We are strongly advised to get rid of all the bad things in our lives which have caused us so much pain. We should also avoid abusive bullying people who cause pain, distress and misery. If you are trapped in an abusive relationship, get help and get the Hell out of it, while you can.   Avoid everywhere where we feel threatened, sad, distressed or just uncomfortable. We should avoid any and all situations, which cause us stress, unhappiness or pain. We should think of the positive things, which brought us happiness in the past. Imagine doing them again. At the same time we must avoid BEAUTIFUL MEMORIES that can make us maudling and depressed. We should try to structure our days around doing the things, which we used to enjoy doing.   At the same time (and this is important) avoid doing the things, which can damage us, or cause us pain.For example self-medicating on alcohol and / or drugs. We should concentrate on living one day at a time. When we relax more we can make it two days. Then three etc until we can plan next years vacation without worry. Try to rediscover the activities, which we used to find highly pleasurable.  We should try to consider the suffering that our deaths would cause to those closest to us.  We must never forget that suicide crises do pass.   Finally, the idea of anyone committing suicide to somehow teach someone a 'lesson' really doesn't work.    Anyone who doubts this simple truth should speak with the families of suicides.    To understand HOW YOUR SUICIDE WOULD DESTROY THE LIVES OF YOUR LOVED ONES you could contact Survivors of Bereavement groups. Speak with their members, or counsellors, or simply ask to attend one of their meetings.   I'm sure that learning of the devastation that suicide inflicts upon those left behind by their own loved ones would make any human being think twice about their actions.      http://dasisignpost.tripod.com/aftermath     Please remember wherever you are in the UK and Republic of Ireland that The SAMARITANS 24/7 crisis line number is 08457-90-90-90.   Having said all that. If you really can't speak to someone face to face nor speak over the telephone you still have options. For example email or text   jo@samaritans.org TEXT: 07725 909090   If you truly wish to remain anonymous you can create a free email address by visiting www.hotmail.com or www.talk21.com. Here you are able to choose an address which does not identify you. Your address can be accessed from any computer and will be protected by a password, so no-one else can access it. But please do not face this ordeal alone.     Good Luck and PLEASE Take Very Special Care