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Without wishing to be controversial, domestic violence is no different for a male victim than a female victim.  Men are also victims of abuse. Domestic Violence has no class distinction. Domestic Violence has no boundaries.

 
Society forces a man to be macho, to be the breadwinner, never to cry! MEN need support - MEN need safety - MEN need counselling - MEN need assistance to see their children - MEN need to rebuild their confidence - MEN need to find a new home - MEN need help full stop!

DEWAR RESEARCH PRESS RELEASE

 

20 January 2005

 

A survey of 100 male victims of domestic violence has found general bias against them, with fathers particularly affected

 

A recently published report of research by Dewar Research summarises the main findings of the experiences reported by 100 male victims of domestic violence (49 from England and Wales, and 51 from Ireland) to a survey conducted in 2001.

 

The responses generally corroborate the experiences of male victims gleaned from the few other previous detailed surveys, such as the Home Office Research Study 191 (published in January 1999, but based on fieldwork in 1995), and the ¡§Dispatches¡¨ programme survey in

1998 also specifically of male victims.  The results of this latter survey being summarised in a broadcast by Channel 4 on 7th January 1999.  They also reflect the findings of academic studies published both in this country and abroad.  Each of the surveys reported complaints by many male victims of the general bias against them in the responses they had received from the police, prosecution service, the courts, and other agencies.

 

Responses to the Dewar Research 2001 Survey appear to support such complaints. For English and Welsh male victims, they found:

   

·              50% were threatened with a weapon;

·              33% were kicked in the genitals;

·              16% were burnt or scalded;

·              40% received severe bruising to the body;

·              75% were assaulted once a month or more frequently;

·              over two thirds were assaulted more than 10 times;

·              35% reported that the police had totally ignored what they 

                         had to say;

·              47% reported that they had been threatened with arrest

                         despite being the victim;

·              21% said that they had been arrested despite being the

                         victim;

·              only 3% reported that the violent female partner had been

                         arrested;  

·              female assailants called the police nearly as often as the

                         male victim (53% of occasions compared to 59%);           

·              of the few female assailants arrested and subsequently

                         charged, not one was convicted, despite the serious

                         injuries some of the male victims had suffered. 

 

The results reinforce previous findings of a general underlying bias and prejudice against male victims in domestic violence practice and procedures by both police and the prosecution service.  This replicates exactly similar findings both in North America and Australia. 

 

Father victims appear to be particularly disadvantaged by the bias.

The police, prosecution service, and the courts, appear reluctant to take any action against the violent or abusive mothers.  The result is that many father victims have no choice but to remain silent since reporting the violence against them appears usually to result in them, rather than the violent mother, being removed from the home and subsequently losing meaningful contact with their children.  It appears that problems over contact with their children are a particular feature of the experience of male victims once relationships break down.

 

Reference:  Male Domestic Violence Victims Survey 2001 ¡V Main Findings.  Dewar Research, October 2004.

 

Full details of the 2001 Survey results, and other information on domestic violence and male victimisation, can be found on the Dewar

Research website at www.dewar4research.org            

 

END OF PRESS RELEASE

 

 

Background Information:

 

Despite the ever-increasing evidence of male victimisation in intimate relationships, as shown by now well over one hundred gender-neutral studies, little information exists in the public domain about the particular plight of male victims.  This is in contrast to that of female victims, for which there is now a considerable amount of information.

 

The Dewar Research 2001 Survey of 100 male victims was designed to redress that imbalance in some small way.

 

Dewar Research is a small voluntary private initiative formed in 1996 to collate information available in the public domain in order to encourage more informed debate of social issues.  As such, it calls on professional and academic expertise as required.

 

For the purpose of the 2001 Survey, Dewar Research collaborated with Dr Malcolm George FRSA, a neuroscientist, who has published widely in academic journals on the issue of domestic violence and related aspects, including the historical context of male victimisation.  His latest paper ¡§Invisible Touch¡¨ was published in 2003 in the journal ¡§Aggression and Violent Behaviour¡¨.

 

The co-author and research coordinator for Dewar Research, David Yarwood, is a chartered civil engineer who has published several studies relating to the issue of domestic violence on behalf of Dewar Research

Male victims of domestic violence

Whether you are male or female, the definition of domestic violence is the same. TheSite.org uncovers the hidden abuse that affects many young men.


Although research shows that domestic violence affects mostly women, current statistics show that one in six men will be affected at some point in their lifetime. The British Crime Survey revealed that 19% of domestic violence incidents were reported to be male victims, with just under half of these having a female abuser.

Abuse is experienced in many different ways and can include a range of physical, sexual, psychological or financial behaviour. Domestic violence is about power and control and is rarely a one-off incident. Violence usually takes place within an intimate relationship, such as a partner or a family member, and forms a pattern of controlling behaviour where the abuser tries to control and seek power over their victim.

Jason, 24, was married to his wife for two years, having been together for six years in total: "She used to scream at me all the time and lash out during arguments. I had to tell colleagues that the cat was always scratching me. Really it was my wife, but I couldn't tell them that. How could I tell my mates? How could I just drop that into the conversation?"

Is it different for men?

Being abused by somebody you love and trust can be confusing and bewildering. The emotions you feel as a result are going to be similar whether you are male or female, however it can be harder for men to cope with the emotional impact of domestic abuse. A spokesperson from the Men's Advice Line says: "We often have men on the phone who say they can cope with the odd slap, but being constantly criticised and belittled is harder to deal with."

We all know that women love a good natter, and while admitting to being abused is difficult for anybody, men often don't have the social networks in place to easily tell a friend or family member. When guys go down the pub it is not necessarily for a touchy-feely chat. Phone lines, like the Men's Advice Line, (MALE) will give you the opportunity to talk in confidence.

It's happening to me

Being assaulted by somebody you know is just as much a crime as being assaulted by a stranger. Admitting you have a problem and talking to somebody about it is an important first step.

The Men's Advice Line offers the following advice:

  • Recognise that you are in an abusive relationship;
  • Keep a record of any incidents;
  • Report any incident to the police;
  • Seek medical attention - either from Accident & Emergency or your GP (doctor);
  • Take legal advice;
  • Don't be provoked into retaliating.

If you find yourself being physically attacked, it's important not to retaliate. Restraining somebody or hitting back leaves you liable for prosecution. If you find that you're getting into a heated argument, leave the room.

Where will I go?

Leaving your home doesn't affect your right to return, your tenancy rights or ownership of the home. Whether you rent or own your home, you have the same rights. Being assaulted by somebody you know is still a crime and you have a right to be protected under the law.

There are a handful of projects around the country that offer accommodation to male victims of domestic abuse. MALE advice line will be able to tell you if there are any in your area. Privately rented accommodation is an option, but could be expensive if you're doing it alone. Staying with your mates or family will probably be your first choice, but this may not work out over a long period of time.

If you are homeless as a result of domestic violence, your local council housing can arrange emergency accommodation. They may ask you to provide evidence that you are being abused, which is when keeping a record of everything can be useful.

Emergency Accommodation is usually in a B&B and will be for a limited period only. To apply for this you need to approach your local council housing department. Your local housing department will provide you with a list of B&Bs in the area and single male hostels.

You may decide that it is safe to return to your home if you get an injunction. There are two types:

  • Non-molestation Order
    This is aimed at preventing your partner or ex-partner from using threatening violence against you or your children;
  • Occupation Order
    An Occupation order regulates who can live in the family home and can also restrict your abuser from entering the surrounding area.

Am I a victim?

Asking for help doesn't make you weak. Telling somebody that your partner is abusing you is difficult; you might feel ashamed, embarrassed or worry that you won't be taken seriously. But for all victims of domestic violence the advice is the same - you are not alone and there is help available.

Jason adds: "I was really embarrassed but asking for help was the turning point. I realised that it does happen to other people. I left her and started re-building my life. It was hard to trust people at first, especially women, but now I'm in a loving relationship. I'll always be grateful to the people that helped me get out of my situation."

Male victims of domestic violence

Whether you are male or female, the definition of domestic violence is the same. TheSite.org uncovers the hidden abuse that affects many young men.


Although research shows that domestic violence affects mostly women, current statistics show that one in six men will be affected at some point in their lifetime. The British Crime Survey revealed that 19% of domestic violence incidents were reported to be male victims, with just under half of these having a female abuser.

Abuse is experienced in many different ways and can include a range of physical, sexual, psychological or financial behaviour. Domestic violence is about power and control and is rarely a one-off incident. Violence usually takes place within an intimate relationship, such as a partner or a family member, and forms a pattern of controlling behaviour where the abuser tries to control and seek power over their victim.

Jason, 24, was married to his wife for two years, having been together for six years in total: "She used to scream at me all the time and lash out during arguments. I had to tell colleagues that the cat was always scratching me. Really it was my wife, but I couldn't tell them that. How could I tell my mates? How could I just drop that into the conversation?"

Is it different for men?

Being abused by somebody you love and trust can be confusing and bewildering. The emotions you feel as a result are going to be similar whether you are male or female, however it can be harder for men to cope with the emotional impact of domestic abuse. A spokesperson from the Men's Advice Line says: "We often have men on the phone who say they can cope with the odd slap, but being constantly criticised and belittled is harder to deal with."

We all know that women love a good natter, and while admitting to being abused is difficult for anybody, men often don't have the social networks in place to easily tell a friend or family member. When guys go down the pub it is not necessarily for a touchy-feely chat. Phone lines, like the Men's Advice Line, (MALE) will give you the opportunity to talk in confidence.

It's happening to me

Being assaulted by somebody you know is just as much a crime as being assaulted by a stranger. Admitting you have a problem and talking to somebody about it is an important first step.

The Men's Advice Line offers the following advice:

  • Recognise that you are in an abusive relationship;
  • Keep a record of any incidents;
  • Report any incident to the police;
  • Seek medical attention - either from Accident & Emergency or your GP (doctor);
  • Take legal advice;
  • Don't be provoked into retaliating.

If you find yourself being physically attacked, it's important not to retaliate. Restraining somebody or hitting back leaves you liable for prosecution. If you find that you're getting into a heated argument, leave the room.

Where will I go?

Leaving your home doesn't affect your right to return, your tenancy rights or ownership of the home. Whether you rent or own your home, you have the same rights. Being assaulted by somebody you know is still a crime and you have a right to be protected under the law.

There are a handful of projects around the country that offer accommodation to male victims of domestic abuse. MALE advice line will be able to tell you if there are any in your area. Privately rented accommodation is an option, but could be expensive if you're doing it alone. Staying with your mates or family will probably be your first choice, but this may not work out over a long period of time.

If you are homeless as a result of domestic violence, your local council housing can arrange emergency accommodation. They may ask you to provide evidence that you are being abused, which is when keeping a record of everything can be useful.

Emergency Accommodation is usually in a B&B and will be for a limited period only. To apply for this you need to approach your local council housing department. Your local housing department will provide you with a list of B&Bs in the area and single male hostels.

You may decide that it is safe to return to your home if you get an injunction. There are two types:

  • Non-molestation Order
    This is aimed at preventing your partner or ex-partner from using threatening violence against you or your children;
  • Occupation Order
    An Occupation order regulates who can live in the family home and can also restrict your abuser from entering the surrounding area.

Am I a victim?

Asking for help doesn't make you weak. Telling somebody that your partner is abusing you is difficult; you might feel ashamed, embarrassed or worry that you won't be taken seriously. But for all victims of domestic violence the advice is the same - you are not alone and there is help available.

Jason adds: "I was really embarrassed but asking for help was the turning point. I realised that it does happen to other people. I left her and started re-building my life. It was hard to trust people at first, especially women, but now I'm in a loving relationship. I'll always be grateful to the people that helped me get out of my situation."

Without meaning to be controversial - it is a fact that men also suffer violence in abusive relationships. However, males tend not to report violence suffered at the hands of females for fear of ridicule.

Admittedly, this does 'appear' to be much rarer than the violence of men against women, but the fact remains that men also suffer terribly at the hands of violent partners

The fear of ridicule which prevents male victims seeking help is a form of Stigma.

From our very earliest days society and our educational system gives us traditional 'male' and 'female' archetypes and their archetypal "natural" roles.  These are our basic role models

These (strong male - weak female) perceptions  predispose us to the unquestionable belief that in any male versus female conflict, we naturally identify the male as the perpetrator and women the victims. 

Over the ages this unquestionable perception must have led to millions of miscarriages of justice throughout the World. Even today, this most basic of gender assumptions must lead to the man's account of any conflict being automatically doubted and his account dismissed.

Given this situation it is easy to understand why many men who undergo domestic violence simply say nothing.

One important breakthrough in breaking male silence on being the victims of domestic violence is a voluntary group based in the Republic of Ireland called AMEN.
 
AMEN provides a confidential and anonymous helpline and much needed support and information service for the male victims of domestic abuse/violence.
 
To date, thousands of men and supportive members of their families have contacted the helpline since it was launched.

AMEN has encountered denial of the existence and the experiences of male victims. Recent research carried out for the Marriage and Relationship Counselling Service (MRCS) found that women are more likely than men to perpetrate domestic violence. This report, based on a survey of 530 clients of MRCS, found that, where domestic violence occurs, mutual violence accounts for 33% of cases, female perpetrated violence accounts for 41% and male perpetrated violence for 26%.

According to AMEN...
 
MALE VICTIMS
  • Come from all walks of life, social backgrounds and cultures.
  • Male victims are often stressed, become depressed feel suicidal and unable to function in the workplace.
  • Are disbelieved – often because they are men.
  • Want help and not further abuse from society and the caring agencies.
  • Males are removed from or asked to leave their homes – often because it is the easy option.
  • Males are not treated equitably by the state agencies

One positive aspect is that much of the practical advice and articles on the subject can be read as just as applicable to men as to women - issues like how to stay safe, and the practicalities of leaving a violent situation.

However it does need to be stated that there is far less in the way of helplines, support organisations (even recognition ) etc available to men in contrast to women

Hope that these websites are of help.

MENS ADVICE LINE:      0808 2000 247 (Free phone)http://www.mensadviceline.org.uk/womens-aid.htm

 

AMEN is an Eire based site.

Stop Abuse for Everyone (SAFE) is a site with US based resources and information on combatting domestic violence, which recognises the needs of male victims.

Survivors UK might also be able to help where sexual abuse is concerned. Their web site is http://www.survivorsuk.org

MenWeb is an American site with helpful articles and advice.

A person who regularly hurts you cannot love you